I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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