Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
