I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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