just come out here and I will go home with you...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
