i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
