If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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