Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
