you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
