I feel like abortions should bother me more
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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