Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
