I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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