blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
