I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The air taste purple.
Randomize
