hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
