I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
