just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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