I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
