i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
