vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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