You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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