I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
