are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
