so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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