it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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