omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
