Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
