I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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