Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
