Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
