susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
