I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
