i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
