dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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