Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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