1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
