But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
