Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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