She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Never joke about your clitoris.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
