yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
