Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
