I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
