I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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