It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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