Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
