it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
