just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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