Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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