erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
