Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
where does the pee come out of this thing
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
