how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Welp...herpes.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
