we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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