i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I wish there were birth control emojis
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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