dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize