how can u be prego again
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
