how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
