I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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