Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
