My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
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