i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
True strength comes from lack of pants
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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