So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
