"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
