So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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