I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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